


Slipping

by angelwing



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Original Character Death(s), Present Tense, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2448590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelwing/pseuds/angelwing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission goes awry, Peter Quill can tell something serious has happened to him. He's changing, and he can't tell if it's for better or for worse, but it definitely scares him. At least, it did scare him, before his emotions started to fade altogether...</p><p>Unsure of what to do, Peter sneaks away from the other Guardians and finds himself in an alley in a far off, dark planet, where he calls the one person he trusts enough to talk to: Yondu Udonta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slipping

“H- Hey, uh… Yondu?” Peter’s own words ring in his ears, having not spoken a word for hours. His voice sounds foreign and off and he’s shaking a little, and he’s only vaguely aware of the fact that this is caused by fear. Really, he’s only been vaguely aware of most of his emotions lately. They’ve been coming in short bursts, and he struggles to hold onto them or make sense of them.

Currently, he’s clutching a small phone-like device that he had gotten hold of recently in order to make communication quicker and easier. He’s standing, leaning against the back wall of a building on a shady planet he only comes to when he needs a place to hide. It's completely dark out, save for a few stars above his head, casting thin shadows here and there. “Yondu, you there?” he tries again. It’s not like the older man to ignore a call, which makes him momentarily panic, but after a moment he hears the wonderfully familiar voice of the other ask,

“What the hell d’you want, boy? You know what time it is? This’d better be good if you think it’s worth wakin’ me up for.”

Peter doesn’t care if Yondu is mad, but he’s not sure if that’s because he’s relieved to hear his voice at all, or if he’s growing even more apathetic than he thought. “Yondu!” he breathes into the phone, his voice urgent. “I… I need… you.”

Yondu is silent for a moment, and when he speaks again, his tone is just a bit softer. He raised Peter for a large portion of his life and he recognizes the fear in the younger outlaw’s tone, even if Peter himself cannot. “What’s the matter, Quill? You hurt? Give me your coordinates and I can come pick you up and-”

“N- No, I don’t… think I should be around anyone right now.” Peter interrupts quickly. Not wanting to offend the only person he wants to talk to, he adds, “I haven’t talked to the other Guardians in about a week either. I kinda ran away. About a month ago, something - uh, a mission - …went really bad. I was knocked out and locked up and… something was put inside of me, I think.” He feels numb as he speaks, and he remembers back to when this first happened. He had been panicking, terrified and confused and so filled with emotion that he was ready to burst. Now, he feels numb towards all of it, and his words feel somewhat empty as he speaks. “I think… I think it did something to me.”

“What the hell are you going on about?” Yondu asks. “Spit it out or hang up, boy. I’m a simple man who ain’t got time for riddle solvin'.”

Peter takes in a deep breath, and briefly notices that he’s starting to feel nervous. Despite the emotion being a negative one, he finds the feeling of any emotion to be comforting. “Yondu, I… I don’t think I’m human anymore.”

There’s silence for a moment, and then an audible sigh. “You don’t just stop being what you are, Quill. You was born and raised on Terra, you ain’t gonna stop being Terran just because you got something put inside you.”

“Yondu, you don’t understand. Look, I know it sounds stupid, but I…. I can feel myself changing.” Peter tries to insist. He needs comfort right now, and he had turned to the closest thing to a parent he had. If said closest thing to a parent refuses to even believe him, Peter has no idea what he’ll do. “What… what did you always say your least favorite thing about Terrans was?”

Yondu grunts. “Your damn emotions. Too emotional all the damn time. Always crying or laughing or talking about your feelings like they control you.” Peter smiles a bit, practically able to hear the way Yondu shakes his head and rolls his eyes and sneers in disgust - a motion he’s grown very accustomed to throughout his life.

However, the smile on his face leaves as he remembers again what conversation they’re having. “Well, ever since the last mission, I’ve started to lose all of that. All of my emotions and shit? I don’t feel them. At first it was, like… this sorta occasional empty feeling. Like, Rocket’d say something funny and I wouldn’t laugh. But it got worse, too. When Gamora got hurt a few weeks ago, I didn’t even care.” Trying to emphasize the severity of this point, Peter adds, “I love Gamora, Yondu. I’m supposed to care about her getting hurt.

“And… And I don’t… I just don’t care a lot.” Peter continues quietly. “I don’t cry or laugh over things, and I don’t feel angry. I don’t even really wanna be around the other guardians, and they’re like family, Yondu.”

“Maybe you’re just finally maturing!” Yondu suggests, and Peter can’t really tell if he’s joking or not. “It’s about time you grew outta those pesky emotion o’yours!”

Peter doesn’t have time for this, and is considering hanging up. “Yondu, please,” he says, his words soft. “I’m calling you because I need someone, and you’re the only person in the galaxy who came to mind.” Now that Yondu’s ego had been stroked, maybe he’d be more willing to listen. “I know I’m not describing this shit well, but something is wrong. I’m messed up. I’m not feeling or caring anymore and nothing matters to me. And not… not even like in a depressed way. I just… can’t feel things like I used to. Yondu, I’m scared I’m gonna stop caring altogether.”

Yondu sighs softly. “Boy, I don’t know what you expect me to do for you.” There is what sounds like genuine concern in his voice.

“I feel like I’m becoming more instinctual,” Peter admits now. “Like, my reason for doing things doesn't come from my own choice or emotions anymore at all, but these… deep-rooted things that tell me what I should do.” He presses the back of his head to the wall and groans. “I’m losing my humanity, Yondu.”

“Again, I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do about this problem o’yours.” Yondu mumbles, but he sounds deep in thought, like he’s really trying to figure out what he can do. “I mean, if you did have something put in you, I don’t know if it would be possible to get out, and even then, if it’s tampered with your mind as much as you make it out to have, it could be pointless anyway. The damage would probably already be done.” Yondu doesn't say it outright, but there is an apologetic tone to his voice, like he’s trying to silently say that he’s sorry.

Peter clicks his tongue. “I gave up trying to fix it awhile ago.” he admits. “I don’t think I can at this point. A- And it’s not all bad. I’ve gotten stronger over the past month. And my reflexes are faster. I can beat Drax at arm wrestling and Rocket at races and neither of those things should be humanly possible.” He chuckles softly. “B- But I don’t think that shit is worth… whatever the hell is happening in my head.”

Yondu sighs heavily. “Well, if it’s any consolation to you, I know my boys and I could always use a strong, quick, emotionless son of a bitch on our team. If the stuff you’re saying is true, you’re always welcome back home if y’want.”

At these words, Peter finds himself chuckling again. “Good to know at least I’m not gonna wind up homeless at the end of this.” His tone is half sarcastic, but half not. He really doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He knows the Guardians were starting to suspect something was wrong when he left, what with the way he had grown so distant, yet somehow so incredibly more powerful, over the last couple of weeks. And he had no idea what would happen if they discovered his hypothesis. Would they still want an emotionless, instinctual… _thing_ on their team?

“Of course you got a home here, boy! Hell, my offer still stands about those coordinates. Give ‘em to me now and I can wake the whole crew up and come get you!” Yondu offers.

But Peter sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to figure out what the hell is happening to me first.” He sighs. Just as he’s about to say a few final words, give Yondu his thanks and say goodbye, he hears footsteps coming down the alleyway to him. He turns and sees a figure approaching in the dark night. Without hanging up, he lowers his communication device and stares, squinting ahead at the being.

It’s some sort of beastly alien, with thick fur around its hands and feet and scales that shine in the dim starlight. Two rows of teeth barely manage to fit in its mouth, and thus they stick out, sharp and deadly. “What’s a Terran doing here at this time of night?” it hisses, its voice low and raspy.

“Hey, I’m just making a quick call,” Peter says, raising a hand. He doesn’t want to fight. “I can go somewhere else, alright?” There’s obvious annoyance in his voice, but he plans to comply with whatever will keep the peace.

The alien doesn’t seem to care, though. It hisses and lunges, sharp claws protruding from furry hands as he aims at Peter’s throat. “This is my territory, Terran!” it snaps as it attacks.

Peter’s reaction is faster than even he expects. In a swift motion, he has the creature’s wrists, then he’s slamming it against the wall, and a hand is on its throat. It gasps and writhes, struggling for air as Peter pushes down hard on its throat. And the alien looks at Peter, eyes wide and mouth open as it pants for air, and three words escape it’s weak, dying breath:

“ _You’re not Terran._ ”

The shock of the words cause Peter to let go, and the creature falls to the ground, where it gasps for breath and trembles. Peter stares. His shock slowly leaves him, as does any other emotion he may have felt, and he grabs the creature again, and in a swift motion, its neck is snapped and it’s laying on the ground, broken and dead.

Yondu is still on the phone.

Peter is trembling as he turns his attention to it once more. “S- Sorry about that. Something came up.” he says quietly, eyes fixated on the corpse at his feet. He doesn't feel fear, or even regret or guilt. If anything, nothing but adrenalin is coursing through him now. He becomes hyper-aware of the blood flowing through his body, pounding in his head, fueling his quickly beating heart. He wets his lips, barely hearing Yondu as he begins to respond.

“I was just saying, you’ve always got a home here, boy. Ain’t none of the Ravagers from Terra! We’ll take you in even easier than we did before!” He laughs slightly as he awaits Peter’s response.

Peter is smiling now. “No, sorry, Yondu. Like I said, I think I need to figure out what’s going on with me...” Who knew killing was that easy? And, more importantly, who knew it was so easy to kill without feeling any remorse? He's staring at the body still, and finds himself practically laughing at the creature's last words. “But hey, maybe I’ll end up taking you up on that offer. I mean, once I’ve learned exactly what I’m capable of.”

And then he hangs up. He appreciates Yondu’s support, but he doesn’t need it, he realizes. Not anymore. Needing support, needing comfort - that’s all for Terrans.

And he’s no Terran.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS SO BAD IM SORRY... EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BAD. The story is bad and the writing is probably bad because I wrote it really late at night, and it is literally nearly two months late x.x
> 
> This was for this prompt on the kink meme:  
> "Someone knocks Peter out and puts a bag of drugs in him. It leaks, giving him super powers, but also making it difficult for him to remember what it means to be human. He calls Yondu as he feels his humanity fading."
> 
> I feel like I completely messed this thing up, especially because it called for hurt/comfort and this really... isn't very hurt/comfort. I dunno what to even call it. It's just.... an attempt. Sigh. Anyway, regardless of how I feel, I hope you enjoyed! ;v;


End file.
